Achilles' test

Achilles woke up once again, he is confused, something feels differently, but before he can think of what’s happening, Odysseus and his friends come into his tent, what do they want now?.

-Achiles, we need you- says Phoenix- our troops are demoralized, the troyans are planning an all out assault… we could very well loose everything

Achilles laughs.

-Then you should go back home, I’m of half a mind of doing that myself

-Listen- says Odysseus- no one wants to return home more than I do, I miss my wife, I miss my son, but this all out assault is our chance, we have the opportunity to exterminate the troyan forces once and for all, and if we do, we are gonna give you many more sex slaves, and treasure, whatever we plunder from Priam’s palace you’ll be the first to pick what you want to keep

Achiles knows what he would say. “For what?”, he would be angry, and then he would start complaining how Agamemnon stole his sex slave, how the others are envious of his prowess in battle… but for some reason he does not want to say it. Something’s different.

-You don’t make the whole army- Ajax says- truth be told it doesn’t matter if you fight or not, but our soldiers think it makes a difference, you are a symbol… 50 thousand people look up to you

Something feels different. For a second he considers standing up, taking his spear, taking his shield, and going out to crush the troyans once and for all.

Yes. Paris will die, Hector will die, Priam will die, and Menelaus will finally be able to fuck Helen until his dick falls out…

But he can’t stop thinking about Helen screaming and crying, crying for Paris’ death… how can she love such a man?. He’s not a warrior, he’s not strong, he’s not brave… and yet she would definitely cry for him… and doesn’t Hector have a son?, a baby?… the poor bastard will let his wife turn into a widow all because his brother was horny… and Hector’s son will not meet his father… Achilles thinks how he didn’t really know his father either…

-I won’t fight- he finally says

Odysseus sighs.

-I’m finally tired of you, you know that?, we came here to try to convince you, we tried to compliment you, make you feel good… but fuck that. You are simply a child throwing a tantrum, and you know what?, symbol or no symbol you may be, we are warriors, and we are going to win without you

Achilles wants to explain that he’s not throwing the tantrum anymore, it’s no longer about his sex slave and his plunders… but Odysseus was right, he was behaving like a child.

The battle starts, Achilles ignores it. The troyans almost make it, they almost reach the ships, he might have to help after all… but then all of the sudden the tide turns again, someone rallies the greek forces and the troyans are in retreat… and yet many people died today… they had friends, and lovers… people who will never see them again… for what?, the ships are intact, and so is Troy.

He is thinking about this when Odysseus and his friends again enter his tent. Great, what do they want this time?.

-Achilles- says Odysseus- we have news for you… there were many casualties in today’s battle…

-Who died?, Agamemnon?, Menelaus?

-Patroclus- says Odysseus

Achilles' heart sinks.

-No- he says

-We have his body right outside- replies Ajax

Achilles goes out of his tent and looks at Patroclus’ body. He’s still so beautiful, the most beautiful man in the world… but there is blood coming out his mouth, and there’s nothing in his eyes. He knows there’s a horrible hole in this stomach, but he can’t look at it.

Just yesterday Patroclus was alive, and they talked, and they kissed, and everything felt alright… but now he is dead, soon his body will be a rotting corpse.

He cries. Achilles cries for a long time.

-What happened?- he finally says, a knot in his throat, he notices that Patroclus is not wearing his own armour, but his…

-He pretended to be you- says Odysseus- and he fooled all of us. I truly thought you finally were helping us… he fought like you, he spoke like you, he was invincible like you… until Hector found him

-What?!

-Hector thought it was you, and he tried to kill you. He knew your presence was motivating our troops, he knew if he killed you his army might have a chance…

-But it was Patroclus, my beautiful Patroclus, the love of my life…

-I am sorry- replies Odysseus- I truly am, if Penelope died I’m not sure I could go on

Something is different.

-Thanks… Odysseus… if I had listened to your advice…- the tears rush again, he thought he was done crying, but he’s not- Patroclus would not have taken my place…- and he continues to cry

Odysseus approaches him, carefully, he tries to put his arm on Achilles back, knowing Achilles will just swat it away… but Achilles doesn’t. Odysseus finally touches him… and Achilles instead turns to hug him. Odysseus hugs him back, and they both cry.

Achilles makes a plan. He gets a new armor, a new shield, and alone he walks towards the walls of Troy.

-You did not kill me Hector!- he boasts to the walls- that was Patroclus, MY BOYFRIEND!, whom you killed!, and I will make you pay for it!, I dare you to a duel!, single combat!, come and see if you can really kill me!

It takes some time, but the doors do open, and out comes Hector. He’s not a coward, he doesn’t run form a duel like his brother. He will make his wife a widow, and his son will never meet him.

-I do not fear you Achilles, I’ve heard the stories about you, but you are not invincible, I’ve seen you bleed, and today, I’ll see you die

Achilles drops his spear. Drops his helmet. Drops his shield.

Hector is confused, what game is Achilles playing?.

-I will not kill you Hector

-You plan to capture me then?, those are not the rules of the duel

-No, Hector… listen… did you know that Chryses came to our camp and begged Agamemnon to release his daughter?, the one he had taken as a slave?

-Yes… I had heard, so what?

-Well, I’ve been thinking, and I think he’s the only hero among all of us. He was weak, he could not fight, he had no hope of getting his daughter back… and yet he still did it, he still faced us… it would have been so easy to kill him, I mean, we took his daughter as a slave and raped her, what do we care to murder him as well?… he must have been so afraid…

-…why are you telling me this Achilles?

-A hero is someone who accomplishes something extremely difficult, right?, something no one else could accomplish. Chryses was a hero because what he did was extremely difficult, and even if he had failed, he would have been a hero simply for trying…

-Do you want to kill Chryses…?

-No!… in fact, killing is so easy for me… I don’t think it’s heroic... it may be if your brother killed something though

Hector laughs.

-I think I see your point

-So, I think, to be a hero… I must not kill you, because that’s what is difficult for me

Hector stays silent.

-But I killed your boyfriend- Hector says, quietly

-Yes, and believe me, it pains me… but then I realized… this whole thing, this war… is just the result of resentment and hate, which produces more pain which produces more hate… Helen is forced to marry Menelaus then she meets Paris and leaves her husband for your him. In the way here we plunder and take slaves, the father of one slave begs for her freedom, then Agamemnon takes my slave because he lost his, then I refuse to fight, then Patroclus has to fight in my place, then you kill him, then I kill you… and it would have continued, you see?

-I think… yeah, you are right… and what you mention is only one chain of pain… if we listened to the stories of the other generals there are probably many other tragedies in both our armies…

-And not just the generals… there are fifty thousand people in our army… and I imagine- he began crying- what if each one has a Patroclus?, what if each one is someone else's Patroclus?… I don’t want them to suffer like this

-Many of them prefer women you know?

-It’s the same!, I imagine your wife loves you as I loved Patroclus, does she not?, and Odysseus never shuts up about Penelope, how he had to make a bed out of stone for them because they kept breaking the wooden ones…

Achilles laughs, Hectors laughs.

-Really?- asks Hector

-That’s what he says man, I don’t know if it's true, when I have sex with women…- he goes silent, he has a revelation- and I have just thought about Briseis!

-Who is she?

-My sex slave, the one Agamemnon took… she probably hates me like Helen hates Menelaus… but she doesn’t have a Paris to rescue her… and her father… her father killed himself when I took his daughter…

-You sure?

-I saw his body hanged… and back then… I didn’t thought about it… the pain of others… was the pain of others, it wasn’t my pain… it still isn’t but now… something’s different… if I can stop people form suffering… I will

-My wife was begging me not to come, you know?, my son cried when he saw me with my armor… she told me she preferred to be the wife of a coward than the wife of a corpse… I guess I didn’t care about her pain either…- now Hector is crying- and I love her so much… but I didn’t care… how could I… what are we gonna do now?

-I will go back to my land, rule my people, and try to help them lead happy lives, I will go with Patroclus family… I don’t know what I’m gonna say to them

Then it all stops. Troy melts. The beach dissolves. The ships fade away.

Achilles is alone in a dark void, and he hears a chime.

-Achilles!- screams Patroclus, he comes running towards Achilles, and crashes on his chest.

Achilles catches him almost as a reflex, and hugs him, they kiss… something’s definitely different.

-Patri… my love… I saw your corpse

-And did died Lissi, forgive me, I too had to learn so much… I thought you loved strength, and I thought you loved yourself more than you could ever love me, because I was weak and you are the strongest, so I wanted to prove to you that I could fight and lead like you…

-Patri… I already loved you more than I have ever loved anyone, you didn’t have to do anything to gain my love

-I know that now

-Where are we?

-The easiest way to explain it- says an old man walking towards them- is to say that you both are in a Good Place, The Good Place in fact… see, the afterlife is a bit different than you thought…

-You teach us- said Achilles- you teach us why we were wrong… so all those things… Hector, Odysseus…

-That was a recreation of your last days on Earth, you lived them over and over until you learned what you had to learn

-It took you a while- says Patroclus- but I was patient, I knew you would learn

-What about Hector?, and Paris and Helen and Odysseus and all the others?

-They had their own tests, most of them have passed them already… except Agamemnon, he still has a hard time NOT killing his daughter if you can believe that… he still thinks the reason it was wrong to steal your sex slave is because she was your property, he sees nothing else wrong with that!… so, oh boy, that one’s a piece of work… but so were you and you are here now, so, congratulations!

-Lissi- says Patroclus- this place is great, we can do anything, go anywhere… what do you want to do?, shall we go to the beach?, shall we go hike in the mountains?

-Actually… I want to apologise to Briseis, and her father… if that’s even possible… in fact, I want to apologize to so many people and their families… it’s gonna be so difficult

-It’s gonna be okay Lissi, I’ll help you

-Wonderful idea Achilles- says the old man- you are right, it’s gonna be very difficult, but if you wanna take my advice, just take is sleazy